I used to struggle with whether I should share such a painful part of myself with the world. I questioned if my story was worth telling. But I remember the day I first shared it—on Facebook Live, just hours before my gender reveal in 2017. I still remember the messages I received from other women who had experienced the same pain. In that moment, I realized that sharing my story gave me hope and light in one of the darkest, loneliest places I had ever been.
No one talks about the aftermath of a miscarriage. The way it strains relationships, friendships, marriages, and even careers. The way it lingers long after the world expects you to move on.
My name is Arishe' Tisdale, and I am 1 in 4.
I delivered three babies—Antoine Lavell Sims Jr. (February 2014), Ava Marie Sims (December 2014), and Alana Nicole Sims (December 2015). Due to infant mortality, they all passed away shortly after birth. I also miscarried two babies. To lose a child you never got to know. To dream of becoming a mom and have that dream shattered. To encounter a pain so deep, so devastating, that words will never be enough. To experience both life and death in the same moment—it is an unimaginable reality.
This kind of loss leaves you with endless questions:
"Why?"
"Why me?"
"What’s next?"
"Where do I go from here?"
"Should I try again?"
Miscarriages are a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. My only wish, my deepest hope, is that any woman who has experienced infant mortality, SIDS, or infertility never gives up. Keep advocating for yourself. Through the pain—PUSH.
I may be an inspiration to some, but to the beautiful, strong, bold woman who is still fighting—who carries this raw, unspoken emptiness within, who refuses to give up, who holds her head high despite the pain, whose heart remains pure—thank you! You are my inspiration.
Some may look at me and think I have it all figured out. Truth be told, I don’t. I’m still healing. I can only pray that with time, the pain becomes easier to carry, alongside my other untold scars.
To my babies, my angels—you will never be forgotten. Grief only exists where love once lived first.
Through the storm and rain, there will always be a rainbow. My beautiful rainbow will be eight years old this year. In August 2017, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. ~Psalm 30:5
Your story doesn’t end in the night. The night is only temporary. Stay encouraged.
~Mrs. Arishe’ Tisdale
March of Dimes is dedicated to bringing people together to tackle America's maternal and infant health crisis—one person, one community, and one step at a time. More than a series of walks, March for Babies is an annual tradition that supports moms and babies every day, every step of the way.
March for Babies connects friends, families, and coworkers to improve the health of families nationwide. Together with March of Dimes, each step forward brings us closer to a healthy future for all.
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