Kristin Webb

The reason I walk is for my angel baby Jamar Kaiden Holland. When Cuda and I found out I was pregnant and having a little boy, our world lit up. We had looked forward to this moment for so long and were so happy. I had a normal pregnancy, normal checkups and our son was growing well. We were looking forward to November coming and holding him in our arms. September 23, 2014..... 33 weeks pregnant.... I went to work like a normal day and at lunch time I did not feel him moving like he normally did. I decided to go home early and see if I could drink and eat certain things to make him move.... nothing happened. I started to worry so I went to the hospital. I got there, alone and scared, and they could not find his heart beat on the machine so they sent me to get an ultrasound. As I am sitting in the wheelchair, going down the hallways of the hospital all I could do was cry. I just knew something was not right. I had the ultrasound done and of course they cannot say anything so they took me back to the room. Cuda came to the hospital and just as he walked in the door, the doctor also walked in. This is a moment that I will NEVER forget, words I will NEVER forget..... I am sorry but your son no longer has a heart beat. At that moment in time I just wept. I could not believe this was happening to my family. So many thoughts went through my mind.... What did I do wrong? Was it something I did that caused him to pass away? How am I ever going to explain this to Madelyn? How am I ever going to get through this? 

The next few hours were a blur. I just wanted to crawl into a ball in the hospital bed and die. Nurses kept coming in and asking questions that I just could not answer. I then had to go through the process of delivering him via C-Section. Once I delivered him, we were given the opportunity to spend some time with him. He was perfect and looked like a healthy, beautiful little boy. We held him, kissed him and prayed this was all just a dream. I did not want to let him go.... I just wanted to hold him in my arms forever. The nurses came back several hours later and took him and that was the longest night of my life. I spent the next few days in the hospital recovering from my C-Section and just trying to figure this all out. The doctor had no idea what happened so he had no answers for us. 

The day came when I left the hospital and drove home, without my son! We had already thrown a baby shower, his room was ready for him to come to and we came home with no baby. We spent the next several days planning a memorial for him. No parent should ever have to bury their child. The day I buried my son is the day I lost a piece of my heart forever. To this day, I think about him EVERY SINGLE DAY.... we visit his grave and decorate it for every holiday.... we talk about him often.... we say his name often....and most of all we WILL NEVER FORGET HIM. 

Three short months later, I got pregnant with my daughter Jayla. Although we were ecstatic to be pregnant, there was a lot of fear and anxiety that we would also lose her. I just hit 34 weeks into my pregnancy and I started feeling pains and I happened to have a doctor appointment that day. I went in to get an ultrasound and the technician could not get her to move at all. After several attempts, she sent me back to my doctor who then sent me directly to the hospital. My first thought was NOT AGAIN! My stomach was in knots and my heart was heavy but when I got to the hospital she still had a heart beat but her heart rate was going from 200 down to 30-40 and this happened several times. They were not sure what was going on so they did an emergency C-Section and took her directly to the NICU. She was born with neonatal graves disease, a rare disease in infants. Her resting heart rate was at 200 so she was immediately put on heart medication and thyroid medication. She was a fighter! Her body responded well to the medication and she was able to come home one week after being delivered but had to stay on all her medications.

I walk in rememberance of our son Jamar Holland and for all babies who did not get a fighting chance at life. 

Right now, babies need all the help they can get. Premature birth affects about 380,000 babies here in the United States. I’m walking in March for Babies to get the message out about this terrible problem and you can help. Please make a secure donation to help me reach my goal. Together we can help the March of Dimes fight prematurity so more babies can get the strongest start possible.